The family is traditionally considered one of the most important institutions of education, the importance of which is determined primarily by the fact that the child spends a lot of time with the family. In terms of the strength and duration of its influence on the personality, no system of education can be compared with the family, since it is in it that the processes aimed at the development of the child’s personality are formed.

The degree of influence on the development of the child’s personality depends on many factors: age, temperament, mentality, preferences, interests, relationships of the child and his parents, and, of course, on the style of family education, which allows not only to influence the development of the child’s personality, instill in him certain qualities, beliefs, attitudes, ideas, but also to help him adapt to the conditions of the social environment.

The question of the influence of the style of family education on the formation of a child’s personality is especially relevant today, since there is a problem of developing a mentally and psychologically healthy, open, intellectually developed, self-sufficient and sociable personality that shapes the nation and society as a whole. In addition, the relevance of this issue is also due to the fact that today there is an increase in social maladaptation of children (social maladaptation is a partial or complete loss of a person’s ability to adapt to the conditions of the social environment), which manifests itself in the loss of social ties with the family; as well as the need to revive family values, recreate the functional significance of the family as an institution that promotes the formation of an element of society, where the style of upbringing plays a decisive role.

The style of family education is a way of relationships in the family, implying the use by parents of a set of techniques and methods of influencing the child, which are determined by the original manner of verbal and nonverbal interaction, and are also characterized by the level of control, guardianship and care, the quality of psycho-emotional contacts between adults and children, the nature of the influence on the child’s behavior by parents, the number of prohibitions and etc. 2

To date, there are many classifications of styles of family education, the traditional classification is considered D. Baumrind, which includes the following types:

1) the authoritarian style of upbringing is characterized by unquestioning submission and obedience to adults (to an adult). In such families, the individual and age characteristics of the child, his interests, desires, aspirations are not taken into account. Authoritarian parents control the behavior of their children and force them to strictly adhere to the rules they have set. Adults are usually reserved in their relationships with children. Such behavior of parents negatively affects the development of the child’s personal qualities.

2) a liberal parenting style assumes that the child gets complete freedom of action, no limits and restrictions are set for him. Even if the actions of children make parents angry and unbalanced, they try to suppress their feelings, treat their children with cordiality and warmth, accepting them as they are. With such an excess of freedom, a minor is practically deprived of parental guidance. At the same time, parents tend to give more than demand, do not expect mature behavior and independence from the child, which subsequently affects the child himself, he becomes insecure, unable to withstand daily difficulties, prone to depression and phobias.

According to psychologist D. Baumrind, many liberal parents are so keen on demonstrating “unconditional love” that they cease to perform direct parental functions, in particular, to establish the necessary prohibitions for their children.

3) democratic parenting style. It is based on mutual love, support, respect, caring for each other, frequent communication, etc. Parents are firm, fair and consistent in their demands towards the child, use reasonable arguments, discussion and persuasion, but not force, encourage personal responsibility and independence of the child, while insisting on compliance with established standards of behavior. The child gets good opportunities for his personal development, he is less susceptible to negative influences from peers and adults, successfully builds relationships with them.

Thus, the democratic style, in contrast to the liberal and authoritarian, contributes to the formation of an adequate self-esteem in the child, which, in turn, allows him to choose the right personal qualities that need to be developed. At the same time, the child will adequately assess his abilities, without exaggerating them and not downplaying them.

Adequate self-assessment implies identifying not only those areas where great results can be achieved, but also those where a person cannot claim them, in other words, self-assessment forms a clear idea of their strengths and weaknesses.

Modern scientists E. Maccoby and J. Martin supplemented the classification of D. Baumrind with another type:

4) indifferent parenting style is characterized by the absence of requirements, certain reactions to the needs of the child, as well as close interaction with him. Although parents satisfy all the basic needs of the child, they are practically not interested in his life (they do not care what happens to him). Indifferent parents are characterized by low control over the behavior of children and lack of warmth and cordiality in relations with them. Such parents do not impose restrictions on their children either due to a lack of interest and attention to children, or as a result of the fact that the hardships of everyday life do not leave them time and energy to raise children. All this affects the child: he becomes withdrawn, aloof, often aggressive.

It should also be noted that in reality it is very difficult to meet a family that uses only one of the above-mentioned parenting styles. As a rule, a combination of them is practiced. For example, the father uses an authoritarian style, the mother uses a democratic one; or each of the parents uses techniques of both authoritarian and liberal styles in the process of upbringing. Therefore, for a deeper understanding of the issue of the influence of family education on the formation of a child’s personality, it is necessary to consider all the nuances regarding how relationships develop in each particular family, what methods are used by parents to punish and encourage, what moral values the family adheres to, etc. Only then can we talk about the most characteristic parenting style for this family.

Thus, the parenting style is a multidimensional category with a conditional character and a changeable nature. For example, an authoritarian parenting style used by parents may eventually turn into a democratic or liberal style – into an authoritarian one, etc.

Family traditions also play an important role in the formation of a child’s personality. They continue the ancestral experience of social development, record the past and present of the family, ensure the stability of relationships, organize and structure them.

Traditions are firmly established, inherited from previous generations and supported by the power of public opinion, forms of human behavior and their relationships or principles by which universal culture develops. Traditions have a layer of motivational qualities and abilities, value orientations, general ideas, feelings, moods, habits.

Traditions are both conservative and dynamically mobile, they are constantly developing, enriched by the experience of new generations, rejected, obsolete, leave and come back again. Family traditions are the spiritual atmosphere of the house, which is made up of the daily routine, customs, lifestyle and habits of its inhabitants. So, some families prefer to get up early, have breakfast in a hurry, go to work and meet in the evening without questions and conversations. Other families have shared breakfasts, dinners, discussion of plans, and there is increased attention to each other’s problems. For example, over evening tea, when the whole family gathers, to discuss the events of the past day. Mother and father talk, exchange impressions, opinions about labor, social affairs, impressions about what they saw, heard, about important events. This opportunity is also provided to children. Plans for the distant and near future are being discussed together. The tradition of free expression and exchange of opinions is very useful.

Social values and the atmosphere of the family determine whether it will become an educational environment, an arena for self-development and self-realization of the child. Family culture finds its expression in traditions: chivalry of men and tenderness of women, respect for elders and love for the younger, generosity, compliance – everything without which a family cannot exist and develop. It is good if the father together with the children creates a cult of the mother, and the mother (also together with the children) creates a cult of the father, when the children see how the father and mother respect each other, not in words, but in deeds.

Family traditions are extremely important to children: with regularly recurring events, a sense of stability of the world comes to children; the connection between generations and warm, tender relations between parents and grown-up children are preserved and strengthened. Family is not only a common way of life, budget and relationships between family members. This is a special spirit, unique comfort and atmosphere, characteristic only for an individual family.